The Anime Adventure in LCL
by Akuma3
Summary: OK, this is a crossover, but I figured it would be better to post in here. This story is about what REALLY happened when Shinji let everyone get turned back into LCL. Many cameeos from many diff. animes. Rita is me, Amber's my buddy and Bre's a buddy too


Gendo: (thinks to himself) 'Come here little girl, heh heh heh. Let me squeeze your boob.' (outloud) Come Ayanami Rei. We must reunite Adam and Lilith and create Third Impact! (Reaches out and palms Rei's boob)  
  
Rei: (thinks to herself) 'Touch my titty will you, you old dirty pervert?' (uses cool Lilith skills to engulf Gendo's hand)  
  
Gendo: Rei?? (thinks to himself) 'Damn it!! Now what will I use to wack off with???'  
  
Rei: I'm not your doll.  
  
**  
  
Oh no! Shinji decided to turn everyone into LCL. Now what will our heros do?...  
  
**  
  
(Dancing to the Billy Idle song 'Dancing With Myself' in the middle of her room, buck naked, Usagi holds a brush up, using it as a microphone. Suddenly, Rei appears.)  
  
Usagi: Hey! This is a solo dance! (thinks to herself) 'Is she checking out my ass?!?!)  
  
Lilith/Rei: Come we must return to the LCL (thinks to herself) 'Nice ass.'  
  
Usagi: Oh, I see...Well, I wanna finish the song first. (feels her body liquify into LCL) Or maybe not...  
  
**  
  
Nothingness, emptyness. Just redish haze....  
  
Usagi: (solidifies in the LCL) Okay then...Where am I? Hello-oh....  
  
Rita-chan: (Approaches Usagi with Sawa at her side) Usagi? Is that you, naked?!   
  
Sawa: Usa-chan! Yoo-hoo! It's me, Sawa. Remember, from two weeks ago...  
  
Rita-chan: (Looks questioningly at Sawa) You and her, you know...  
  
Sawa: (Grins lewdly) heh heh...  
  
Rita-chan: And?  
  
Sawa: Not too bad.  
  
Usagi: (Runs to meet them) What happened?! Where are we?! Crap, I'm naked!  
  
Sawa: And lookin good, might I add.  
  
Rita-chan: I guess we're in the LCL. Me and Sawa were in the middle of...you know...and this girl with blue hair appeared and was like 'Let's go to the LCL,' and here we are!  
  
Sawa: Where is everyone else? Are we the only survivors?  
  
Rita-chan: Wait...I see two people...Hey, it's Amber and Oburi!  
  
Usagi: Did you say Ovary? (Starts to laugh)  
  
Sawa: No, she said Oburi. But it can't be, he's dead!  
  
Rita-chan: I think we're all dead.  
  
Sawa: Oburi!! It is you!! (Runs and leaps into his arms)  
  
Amber: Hey hey now, back up. Oburi's with me now.  
  
Sawa: What?  
  
Oburi: Yeah, you see Sawa, Amber found me after I got shot and she nursed me back to health. And, well,...  
  
Amber: We fuck.  
  
Sawa: Oh that's okay, I can be the meat in your sandwich.  
  
Amber: Um, no, I don't think so.  
  
Rita-chan: (Grabs Sawa by the collar of her shirt and yanks her back) Do you two know what happened to us?  
  
Oburi: No. Hey...If we're all here, then where's Hakai? I wanna shoot up that bastard! (pulls out gun)  
  
Sawa: Me too!! Now he's got a shriveled dick...Okay, now I'm pissed! (pulls out gun)  
  
Amber: Uh-oh...Maybe we should start to slowly back away. They look a little psycotic...  
  
Rita-chan: Good idea.  
  
Usagi: What do we have to worry about?  
  
Rita-chan: Exploding bullets can be very painful.  
  
Ash: (walks toward them and waves) Hi!  
  
Pikachu: (walks a few feet from him) Pika...  
  
Oburi: (focus's gun on Pikachu)  
  
Sawa: Grrr...(focus's gun on Ash)  
  
Rita-chan: (to Ash) Maybe you should stop drawing their attention to you.  
  
Amber: Ummm, Oburi? (ignores her and doesn't lower gun)  
  
Usagi: Wow! What a cute cat! (crouches and reaches towards Pikachu)  
  
Ash: Why would I want them to stop looking at me? I'm a proud Pokemon Master. I--  
  
Sawa: No!!! Not Pokemon!! (shoots Ash and blows him up with exploding bullets)  
  
Oburi: Die Hellcat!! (shoots Pikachu)  
  
Usagi: (gets splat with blood) Why did you do that?!?  
  
Oburi: He got on my nerves.  
  
Sawa: It's good to be back at your side, Oburi. (they start necking)  
  
Rita-chan: (sarcastically) That's real attractive.  
  
Amber: I'm right here Oburi!! I can see what you're doing!!  
  
Oburi: (ignores Amber and continues making out)  
  
Usagi: (pouts) Where's Mamo-chan?  
  
Rita-chan: I don't know, and I don't really care.  
  
Amber: (laughs).....Look, here comes two comes two more people! (all, except Sawa and Oburi, who're now rolling around on the redish ground, look to see Duo and Heero coming. Duo's arm is around Heero's waist)  
  
Duo: Hey! Rita-chan! You're here too! (to Heero) Told you we weren't the only survivors. (bumps Heero's hip with his own)  
  
Amber: Did I miss something?  
  
Rita-chan: Yeah...  
  
Heero: (to Usagi) You're naked.  
  
Usagi: So I've been told. Are you two, um, you know...  
  
Rita-chan: (throws in helpfully) Buttbuddies?  
  
Heero: (Frowns)  
  
Duo: I guess you could call it that...  
  
Sawa: (comes up for air from Oburi) What? Are you serious? You both coulda fooled me after what happened three nights ago! (dives back down on Oburi)  
  
Amber: (to Rita-chan) I can't believe your bitch is the slut of the Anime World.  
  
Rita-chan: Shut up.  
  
Usagi: (to Duo and Heero) Do any of you know what's going on?   
  
Duo: Nope. Me and Heero were piloting our Gundams one minute, and the next Heero pops into a blob of blood, and then I do. Our Gundams are here too, but they're running wild. Trowa and Wufei tried to stop theirs, and they got squished.  
  
Rita-chan: Sucks for them.  
  
Usagi: Ow.  
  
Amber: Where's Quatre?  
  
Heero: Last we saw him, he was running off with this gray haired guy, and they were talking about getting Shinji, whoever that is.  
  
Amber: Shinji-kun?!?!  
  
Rita-chan: That's it!  
  
Usagi: What?  
  
Rita-chan: Shinji is who brought us here! That weak little--  
  
Amber: Don't talk about him like that!  
  
Usagi: What are you two talking about?!?!  
  
Rita-chan: I knew he would buckle under the pressure! That guy with the gray hair was Kaworu. Shinji had to choose to let humanity live on or to make us into LCL!  
  
Duo: That stupid fuck!  
  
Sawa: (rolls with Oburi as they start stripping off their clothes and bump into a door that until now had remained unnoticed)  
  
(door opens)  
  
Kaworu: (walks out with an arm draped over Quatre) Well hello everyone!  
  
Quatre: (to Duo and Heero) Guys, you're alive!  
  
Duo: You certainly weren't caring before when you went off with him!  
  
Heero: Quatre, (taps his own neck and indicates that Quatre should button up his shirt, cause his hickey is showing)  
  
Kaworu: (giggles as he buttens up Quatre's shirt for him) Hey, has anyone seen Shinji?  
  
Rita-chan: No.  
  
Amber: No.  
  
Usagi: Who's Shinji again? I wasn't listening before...  
  
Duo: No.  
  
Heero: No.  
  
Oburi: (Sawa clings to him as he stands and stumbles into the room and closes the door. Moans and shrieks can be heard)  
  
Quatre: (Pulls out a cup of tea) Does anyone want some?  
  
Rita-chan: (Holds head in hands as the moans get louder.) (to Quatre) Shut up, you queer bitch.  
  
Duo: Hey!   
  
Rita-chan: (grins and says with false sincerity) I'm sorry!  
  
Amber: (tilts her head, listens to something) Dear God.  
  
Kaworu: Yes? I can take a message for him.   
  
Usagi: Huh?  
  
Kaworu: I'm an Angel.  
  
Quatre: My Angel. (grabs Kaworu's ass)  
  
Amber: (rolls eyes and sighs sadly) Here comes another Angel.  
  
Phantom of the Opera/Erik: (sings) 'Wandering child..so lost..so helpless..yearning for my..guidance.....'  
  
Breanna: Oh, Erik, I love it when you sing.  
  
POTO/Erik: Shut up, darling. 'Too long you've wandered in winter....Far from my far reaching gaze.......' (Breanna joins in, sings Christine's former part)  
  
Amber: Ack! I hate him!  
  
Quatre: Who's that? His voice is so melodious...(closes eyes)  
  
Amber: Quatre, why do you have to be so gay!? (looks to Rita-chan who is swaying and her eyes are half closed) Snap out of it bi-otch!! (backhands Rita-chan across the face.)  
  
Rita-chan: I can't help it.  
  
Duo: Look at Quatre and Kaworu!! (the two are holding hands and twirling and dancing)  
  
Rita-chan: Goddamn pansies...  
  
Breanna: (finishes short duet) Hello Rita-chan!! Hello all!!  
  
POTO/Erik: ....  
  
Rita-chan: So, you two are here too.  
  
POTO/Erik: It would appear so.  
  
Quatre: (claps) That was wonderful!  
  
Kaworu: (claps) Haven't seen you for a while, Erik. What, the Angel of Music is too high and mighty to call his fellow Angels?  
  
POTO/Erik: (scowls) No, I just don't call the ones who won't stop hitting on me.  
  
Usagi: Hiya! You both sure sing good!  
  
POTO/Erik: You're naked. That is very crude and improper for a lady.  
  
Usagi: (sticks out tounge) Bite me.  
  
Amber: (elbows Rita-chan) So, ah, what ever happened to Christine?  
  
Breanna: (grins as she tosses Heero a bag of money) She had an accident. I'm with Erik now.  
  
Quatre: Oh..I see...  
  
(crashes are heard from the room)  
  
Kaworu: Gee, they're real frisky. (walks to door and opens it. Starts to enter)  
  
Quatre: Where're you going? (Kaworu pulls him into the room and shuts the door, to join Sawa and Oburi)  
  
Heero: (Looks into the distance) What the...???  
  
Duo: (Looks as well) Wing Zero???? What are you doing???  
  
(Amber, Rita-chan, Usagi, Breanna, and POTO/Erik all look to see Gundam Wing Zero and an Eva humping)  
  
Rita-chan: Hmpf...Well, I'll be damned; I guess the suits are as gay as you Heero!  
  
Heero: (pulls out a gun and shoots her in the leg)  
  
Rita-chan: OOOOOWWWWW!!! You fucking queer ass homo, dick licking-- (stops when he takes aim again) Okay, okay, I'll shut up with the gay name calling!  
  
Duo: I've had enough of this. You guys are putting me to sleep. (puts arm around Heero) Lets go find some other people. (they start off)  
  
Rita-chan: (mutters as she wraps a cloth around her leg) Flaming faggots...  
  
Heero: (turns around and shoots her in her other leg)  
  
Rita-chan: Motherfuckers!!  
  
Amber: (laughs)  
  
POTO/Erik: Guns. Ha! Nothing beats the elegance of the Punjab lasso!  
  
Breanna: I know dear. (kisses him)  
  
Amber: Excuse me while I throw up.  
  
(minutes later, Oburi comes out of the room, hair on end and shirt torn open)  
  
Amber: (crosses arms and taps foot) You look like a leper. (points to Oburi's chest, which is covered in about 50 hickeys, courtesy of Quatre, Kaworu, and Sawa, who are still inside going at it.)  
  
Oburi: Oops. (tries futily to close shirt)  
  
Rita-chan: Yeah....Where the hell is Shinji?  
  
Usagi: Who's that? (Amber, Rita-chan, Breanna, POTO/Erik, and Oburi all look to see Shinji come closer)  
  
Shinji: Uh, hi guys. (awkwardly rubs arm, while his other hand opens and closes into a fist)  
  
Rita-chan: Will you stop with that annoying hand clenching habit?!?!  
  
Shinji: Sorry! (sees naked Usagi; eyes widen) H-h-h-h-hi.  
  
Usagi: Stop staring!!  
  
Shinji: (lowers eyes as he turns a bright red) S-s-s-sorry.  
  
Rita-chan: You dumbass! How could you turn us all into LCL!?!?!?!?  
  
POTO/Erik: This is your fault?! (pulls out Punjab lasso and chokes Shinji with it) I should be working on my Music!!  
  
Breanna: (embraces POTO/Erik) Erik, Erik, why don't you sing for me, huh?  
  
POTO/Erik: (releases Shinji, who gasps for air) Fine. (clears throat and walks a short distance away with Breanna) 'Say..you'll..share with me..one love, one lifetime........'  
  
Amber: (winces as POTO/Erik continues on) Hi, Shinji-kun. (Shinji moves to hug her)  
  
Oburi: (pulls out gun) Touch Amber, and you die, runt.  
  
Shinji: Sorry.  
  
Rita-chan: You ARE a sorry sack of-- (door opens, and Kaworu comes out. He wears just a pair of boxers)  
  
Kaworu: Shinji...(uses seducive voice) I've missed you...  
  
Shinji: H-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-hello, K-Kaworu. (Kaworu grabs Shinji and pulls him into the room) AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!  
  
(the room echos with a new wave of moanin' and groanin')  
  
Usagi: Is it just me, or does everyone here seen just a little horny?  
  
(out of nowhere, Gendo appears)  
  
Gendo: (grabs Usagi's boobs with remaining hand) Fourth Impact! Fifth Impact!  
  
Usagi: Ew, ew! Get him off!  
  
Oburi: (pulls Gendo off and holds him back.)  
  
Usagi: Thanks.  
  
(Gendo breaks free and picks up Usagi and runs)  
  
Gendo: I will make Sixth Impact!  
  
(Amber, Rita-chan, and Oburi watch as he runs away with a wailing Usagi)  
  
Rita-chan: Should we go after them?  
  
Amber: Nah.  
  
(Oburi lays down and goes to sleep. Breanna and POTO/Erik continue their songs. The moans from the room reach their peaks, then stop)  
  
Rita-chan: Now what?  
  
Amber: I dunno.  
  
Rita-chan: Maybe Shinji will let us out of here and back into the real world...  
  
**  
  
(Usagi opens her eyes and sits up.)  
  
Usagi: Thank goodness, it was just a dream! (looks to her side where Gendo lays, naked, having just made "Sixth Impact") NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
  
THE END! *heh heh* 


End file.
